I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
