i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
