I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
