did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
