Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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