Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
