it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
