So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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