I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
