I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
