ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
