the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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