That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I met the friendliest cop last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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