At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
