just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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