I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I didn't notice because vodka
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
