no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
