the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
