do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
