New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
