I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
