I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
