This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
