Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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