Sry I called you an 8
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
