someone owes me an orgasm
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
