Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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