sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
