ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
