successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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