Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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