WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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