When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
