i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
