You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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