I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
