You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
