Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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