A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She announced her abortion via fbk
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
