my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
