school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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