So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
