If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
