hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
