smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
