Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
