you mean i was at the winter classic?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
