If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think people are normalizing furries
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
