Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
