im drinking this country out of the recession.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
