I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
why do cheetos always look like penises
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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