I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
