Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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