I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
