Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think a kid would responsible me up
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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