Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
