how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
